money time — Rescue my essay

Can I have some constructive critique on my essay? (Idk if this is the right section)?

April 13, 2010 By Admin

Ok so I’m entering this essay contest to possibly win a foal (don’t worry, I have a lot of experiemce with babies). Can someone tell me what I might want to fix or change? Here it is:

"On May 1st, 2009, 40 horses, 12 donkeys, and a mule were rescued from a property in Sayre, Oklahoma by Blazes Equine Rescue. Around 45 horse carcasses were located in different states of decomposition also on the property. The living equines where infested with internal and external parasites, hooves in a good need of trimming, a few pregnant mares, injuries that needed to be treated, one broken leg, one dislocated hip and body scores ranging from 1 to 3. This was one of the worst rescues Blazes Equine Rescue has dealt with.
Some abuse cases are simply based on a lack of knowledge. Everybody wants a horse or a pony at some point in their lives; what they don’t understand is the amount of money, time and knowledge that goes into it every day. Lack of knowledge about the proper food, water and medical care is a recipe for a slow and painful death for the horse. Same with the owner who knows little about training; who becomes frustrated with the horse, and strikes out with physical abuse that could permanently injure or kill horse and/or rider. Another form of abuse is putting winning before the horses own welfare. Illegal bits, over flexion, and crash course training are not only examples of this, but also of poor horsemanship and training.
The effects of abuse can leave mental (and physical) scars on an equine. A horse that could have been a nice pasture pony or a child’s show horse is now downgraded to an aggressive, fearful animal. The only thing they expect from a human is pain, instead of love and care. Neglect leaves scars too; untreated wounds, founder, internal parasites, and just not having daily handling to understand that humans are not always the bad guys.
When a rescue group and/or an officer go in to check on a call about an abused or neglected horse, the owners may give excuses; “it’s not my horse, it’s my son’s.” “I don’t have the money to take him to a vet.” “He doesn’t want to eat; I think he is just old.” There is never an excuse for horse abuse or neglect. EVER. If the horse is on your property, it is your job to make sure he gets the care he needs; even if “it’s your son’s”. Immediately, if your horse is losing weight, common sense tells you to call the vet. Also, most rescues will willingly take your horse in if you are no longer able to care for her.
We have all seen some form of abuse or neglect. At rodeos, shows, at almost every equine event, some horse isn’t being treated fairly. What can you do? Politely tell the owner; pass the knowledge on. It may be something small like a loose bit or ill-fitting halter, or as a serious as a underweight or lame horse.

Don’t be afraid to speak up; give the horses a voice that they alone cannot express.

Information from:
www.blazesequinerescue.com/horses.html
www.habitatforhorses.org/rescues/why/html
www.habitatforhorses.org/rescues/reportcruelty.html "

-Thanks in advance!

Related Blogs

Help with my horse essay please?

April 12, 2010 By Admin

Ok so I’m entering an essay contest to possibly win a Foundation Quarter Horse colt or filly (don’t freak I have experience with babies). So can you tell me please what I need to add or take out? Thanks in advance!

On May 1st, 2009, 40 horses, 12 donkeys, and a mule were rescued from a property in Sayre, Oklahoma by Blazes Equine Rescue. Around 45 horse carcasses were located in different states of decomposition also on the property. The living equines where infested with internal and external parasites, hooves in a good need of trimming, a few pregnant mares, injuries that needed to be treated, one broken leg, one dislocated hip and body scores ranging from 1 to 3. This was one of the worst rescues Blazes Equine Rescue has dealt with.
Some abuse cases are simply based on a lack of knowledge. Everybody wants a horse or a pony at some point in their lives; what they don’t understand is the amount of money, time and knowledge that goes into it every day. Lack of knowledge about the proper food, water and medical care is a recipe for a slow and painful death for the horse. Same with the owner who knows little about training; who becomes frustrated with the horse, and strikes out with physical abuse that could permanently injure or kill horse and/or rider. Another form of abuse is putting winning before the horses own welfare. Illegal bits, over flexion, and crash course training are not only examples of this, but also of poor horsemanship and training.
The effects of abuse can leave mental (and physical) scars on an equine. A horse that could have been a nice pasture pony or a child’s show horse is now downgraded to an aggressive, fearful animal. The only thing they expect from a human is pain, instead of love and care. Neglect leaves scars too; untreated wounds, founder, internal parasites, and just not having daily handling to understand that humans are not always the bad guys.
When a rescue group and/or an officer go in to check on a call about an abused or neglected horse, the owners may give excuses; “it’s not my horse, it’s my son’s.” “I don’t have the money to take him to a vet.” “He doesn’t want to eat; I think he is just old.” There is never an excuse for horse abuse or neglect. EVER. If the horse is on your property, it is your job to make sure he gets the care he needs; even if “it’s your son’s”. Immediately, if your horse is losing weight, common sense tells you to call the vet. Also, most rescues will willingly take your horse in if you are no longer able to care for her.
We have all seen some form of abuse or neglect. At rodeos, shows, at almost every equine event, some horse isn’t being treated fairly. What can you do? Politely tell the owner; pass the knowledge on. It may be something small like a loose bit or ill-fitting halter, or as a serious as a underweight or lame horse.

Don’t be afraid to speak up; give the horses a voice that they alone cannot express.

Information from:
www.blazesequinerescue.com/horses.html
www.habitatforhorses.org/rescues/why/html
www.habitatforhorses.org/rescues/reportcruelty.html

Can I have some constructive critique on my essay? (Idk if this is the right section)?

Related Blogs

Help with my horse essay please?

Related Blogs

Categories

Recent Posts