homework — Rescue my essay

Hi! I did an essay for english class, and I didn’t do so good on it. So, I’m redoing it and turning it in to get a better grade.
Would any of you help me and tell me some things I should fix on it, I have no clue what’s wrong with it!! Thank you sooo much
I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!
btw: I’m not trying to be lazy and ask you to do my homework, bc i hate when people do that. but thank you so much!

Imagine not being allowed to walk around without being in the hands of a man. Imagine getting taken away from family, forced into war. Without being asked. In Afghanistan, women have few rights and they’re not allowed to do multiple things that American women do everyday. In Sierra Leone, children get taken away from their families and forced into war. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, two women carry on in a life where women are abused and not given the same rights as men. A Thousand Splendid Suns is a better book than A Long Way Gone because the author has excellent usage of suspense than the other book.
In A Long Way Gone, the conflicts stayed the same and they all had to do with running away from war. Although the conflicts were interesting and petrifying, Hosseini’s conflicts in A Thousand Splendid Suns, kept the story going. They had a lot to do with how badly women are treated there and what bad of a state their whole country is in. There was as well a lot of physical conflict in A Thousand Splendid Suns, while Ishmael’s conflicts had a lot to do with him running away. Mariam and Laila dealt with devastating man vs. man conflicts. When Laila and Aziza were locked in the hot room, more suspense was created. When Laila didn’t know “how much more Aziza could take of this” (Hosseini, 271), it made Hosseini’s story suspenseful. In A Long Way Gone, Ishmael runs away from the war and almost dies multiple times, but the story does not stay very suspenseful throughout because readers know what is going to happen by the end of each conflict. When Baeh left for Mattru Jong with his brother and their two friends, and when he said “we didn’t say goodbye and tell anybody we were going” (Baeh, 32), readers knew that he would survive. Readers also know that he’s going to survive because he wrote the book himself. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, most conflicts are based on women being mistreated and made the readers think more and really question what would occur next. Another example of suspenseful conflicts in A Thousand Splendid Suns occurs when Rasheed was trying to strangle Laila, and Mariam came to her rescue. This was very suspenseful because readers did not know what was going to happen and it made me keep reading. Overall, A Thousand Splendid Suns conflicts were more enhanced than the other book because they had more suspense and kept the reader interested.
The characters in the two stories went through a lot of tough and frightening things. The characters in A Long Way Gone were all the same and most of them didn’t last for more than a chapter or two. Although we got to know a lot about one character throughout the story, Hosseini’s characters are exceedingly well developed and sometimes it felt like the characters were real. He created a lot of suspense and made me understand ever little detail about each character. He also created a lot of suspense between the characters, and gave them a specific attitude. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, Rasheed stays the same character throughout the whole story. He does a lot of cruel things to Laila and Mariam and readers get used to the things that Rasheed does and things that he says. Also, Laila was a very strong character. She always said what she was thinking and she also stood up for Mariam and Aziza. Laila was never scared of Rasheed. She stole money from his wallet, which was very chancy. “When the wallet was plump, she helped herself to a ten or a twenty, once even risking two twenties.”(Hosseini, page 309) She did everything that was possible to better her life for her, Aziza, and Mariam, without worrying on what the consequences were. The characters in A Thousand Splendid Suns were better than the characters in A Long Way Gone because the suspense that the characters experienced, and the characters that Hosseini created were better than Ishmael Baeh created the characters.
There’s a lot of foreshadowing in both books. In A Long Way Gone, the author would go back and forth between things. Sometimes the foreshadowing would help me understand the story better. But most of the times, he wouldn’t say when he was going back into the past, or when he had finished foreshadowing, therefore it caused confusion multiple times. The foreshadowing in A Thousand Splendid Suns made more sense and had a better meaning. The foreshadowing made me think about things that happened in the past, and what makes the characters the way they act. For example, at the end of A Thousand Splendid Suns Laila reads a letter from Jalil to Mariam. When the movie Pinocchio came on the tel

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