Please READ!!! essay need to be proofread (transfer essay)?

(native country and universities names have been changed)

topic: Please provide a statement (250 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
(I am applying to 3 universities)
As the founding fathers declared 234 years ago, the United States of America is a place where “we hold [the] truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. When my folks and I moved from congo to the U.S, three years ago, the first thing that stroked us was the seemingly infinite amount of prospects that this country presented before our eyes. Coming from an underprivileged background with a penniless single mom, I realized how fortunate I was to be young, and full of life on this land of opportunities. I felt as if I was holding in my hands the recipe to make my dreams come true, and assist my family. I sensed so much power, and freedom to strive for life. My success was almost palpable, even the sky was not matching the limit of my potential. My fear for the language, which I thought was going to be the biggest obstacle of all, gradually vanished as my eager to succeed exponentially amplified. Even though I was only a French speaker with no knowledge of any American culture, becoming as successful as Edward Lewis was not just an “American dream” anymore. By living on the U.S territories, it became my “American dream”, too: an objective to achieve.
Although Pretty Woman was and still is by far one of my favorite movies all time, I stopped fantasizing with the Richard Gere’s character and started focusing on how to turn out to be like that character: a tidy and successful investment banker. After series of hasty fascinating searches through the web and my entourage, the conclusion and fact was that: If I were to be an investment banker, I was to master in the field of business, economics, and management. Another investigation I did right away reveal that: the best investment bankers come from the best schools of business; schools like yours. At the time of my findings, which was last year, I was a high school sophomore at a school in the Brooklyn that was not meeting my challenges. I knew that in order to reach the level I desired, I was to look for challenges and face them. This quest of challenges created in me the zeal of learning new things. As an increasing continuum, the ardent appreciation for my education grew beyond any proportion. And that same year, I decided to bring an end to my high school career and embarked on my early college journey.
Last August, I attended Boston College. Moving from New York City to Boston was rather a surprising discovery than just a fun college adventure. For the first time, I became conscious that the road that leads to my goal was going to get coarser as I get closer to my destination. I was surrounded by many people like me, and others that made me question my own intellect. Even if there were only about 184 of us, it was the more compact and intelligent grouping that had ever been exposed to me. In such little amount of time, I made a lot of reliable friends who were also highly determined to accomplish their dreams. We kept our eyes on the price. However, reviewing our notes and books was not all we did in our school, we also knew how to take sporadic breaks to party, play football, or enjoy the magnificent 3-D graphic of Modern Warfare 2 on Xbox360. I enjoyed being at Boston college until this semester when I found out about the limits of the college in the field of business and economics.
Although Boston College is a highly competitive liberal art college, besides microeconomics and macroeconomics, it does not offer any other class in my field of interest. If I stay here, this academic shortage will compromise my dream, thus the transfer to your school is like the rescue of my happiness and I am willing to do whatever it will take to attain it. By transferring to your school, I get the opportunity to reside in a similarly bright entourage, study in the field I am interested in, and continue my studies at a highly competitive institute. I would like to able to read for hours or do fifty pushups without being called a “geek” or a “jock”. In brief, I want to be around a group of open minded scholars that will accept me for what I am; a group of scholars that I will synthesize with, liberally express myself, and easily pursuit my happiness. Also, the size of your school is one appealing factor that encourages transferring, the fun I had here can be three or even ten times higher. Your resources and facilities are magnetizing, and your diversity astonishing. I would like to terminate my undergraduate study at your school to preserve a hope of achieving my “American dream”, have a formative experience, and prove to everyone that the founding fathers were right when they made the Declaration o
the end is "declaration of independence of the United states of America"
it is min 250
cassandra please I need your email

Please READ!!! essay need to be proofread (transfer essay)?

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